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Valley News and Views
Drayton , North Dakota
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February 11, 2010     Valley News and Views
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February 11, 2010
 

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Page 6 February llth, 2010 The Official Page of the Animal's Republic of Robbin Valley News and Views "The devil's aversion to holy water is a light matter compared with a despot's dread of a newspaper that laughs." "The American Press," first printed in Mark Twain: Press Critic. OOPS! reversal while traveling January. He also shocked In a correction to the through a wormhole last the group with a surprise January 21st issue of the spring. Although Ray appears announcement, revealing Valley News andViews, it was to be near totally recovered, his plans to participate in the he did ask that Patrick Exercise Wheel competition not Matilda Gerbil's gender Jane not throw out his/her at this year's Summer that was in question, but rather that of her companion, lipsticks. Olympics in Vancouver, Jane. B.C. No one in the group Suspicions of the gender had the heart to tell him mix-up have since been there would be no Summer confirmed. On Super Bowl Olympics in Vancouver and Sunday, Jane was particularly even if there were, there is no agitated and only became Exercise Wheel competition. calm when the gerbil tank Ferdinand Manuelcontinues was inadvertently placed to work out many hours in front of the television set every day with visions of a during a routine cleaning. Gold Medal leading him on After observing that she toward the finish line. remained transfixed for the next three hours, perched on her haunches, staring at the television, nibbling peanuts and drooling at half-time, Jane Gerbil, pictured above Roman Guglielmo, from Our is now known as Patrick, as New York Office, noted that yet another gender identity there was little doubt that problem shakes the rodent Jane should now be referred world. to as Patrick. Ferdinand Manuel was Matilda has mixed feelings guest of honor at a coffee about the news as Patrick has social served at the Vinny begun routinely requesting Mouse residence on Friday. beer in their water bottle and Other guests included Vicky has taken to belching loudly. Mouse, and Ray Squirrel's Roman's grandmother, sister Irene. Haggis M. Lee, Jane (Earle) for whom the Miss Kitt Katt and Madam Phil the Rathas begun his gerbil was originally named Zoey had also been invited 2010 campaign for President has not been informed of the to the event but were unable of the Animal's Republic of news. Well, I guess now she to attend because they Robbin. Elections are to be has. wouldn't fit into Vinny's held this fall. His campaign Ray Squirrel has offered to house. Fedrdinand spoke to slogan, "elect a rat and know assist Patrick Jane through the group about his amazing whereyou'reat,"isresonating this difficult period. Ray recovery from a devasting through the republic. himself suffering a gender exercise wheel accident in Ole At the Super Bowl Ole had two of the best tickets for the Super Bowl. He sat down and soon another man came along and asked if anyone was sitting in the seat next to him. "No", says Ole, "da seat is empty." ' '~ ' *"' "This is incredible[" said the man, "who in their fight mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl, the biggest sporting event of the year and not use it?" "Vell," says Ole, "actually, da seat belongs to me. My wife Lena vas supposed to come with me but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been to together since ve got married." "Oh... Gees ..I'm sorry to .hear that. That's terrible. I guess you couldn't find someone else, a friend or relative or even a neighbor to take the seat?" Ole shook his head sadly and said, "No sir, dey're all at da funeral." Theme Crossword: Famous Couples Even on this Page, Giving Blood Is Serious Business St. Thomas Blood Drive February 17th CROSSWORD m 3 27 59 7 24 5O 66 PRESENTED BY VolunteerMatch.org Where volunteering begins. R 10 32 52 62 ACROSS 1. *Either Houlihan or Burns from M*A*S*H 6. Cat sound 9. Lover's strike 13. Remove from existence 14. "Four score and seven years __ 15. Like N1H1 flu 16. One-story home 17. Read-only storage 18. Canned tomato. product 19. *The Beast's Valentine 21. *John Adams' Valentine 23. DNA transmitter 24. Like a bug in a rug 25. AV manufacturer 28. Make a fool of 30. Fall asleep 35. Egg-layers 37. Whiskey without water 39. Luciano Pavarotti or Jose Carreras, e.g. 40. U2 guitarist 41. Eagle's claw 43. Island east of Java 44. a.k.a, thaler 46. Spanish courtesy title for woman 47. Young herrings canned as sardines 48. Seismic vibration 50. Different version of #6 Across 52. Swedishshag rug 53. "1 call first !" 55. Communist Zedong 57. *FDR's Valentine 61. *Fred's dance partner 64. -fire 65. *George and Martha were its first famous couple 67. Triumph maliciously 69. Rough, as in voice 70. Wrath 71. Slow in music 72. Short for ukuleles 73. Nada 74. Literary composition DOWN 1. "Sea" in French 2. Inhabitant of Middle East 3. *Tarzan's Valentine 4. *Felix's; roommate 5. Like a picture moved to another wall 6. * Jane, Spider- Man's Valentine 7. Id's partner 8. *Adam's Eve was the first of these 9. Goods obtained illegally 10. * Marie, Michael Jackson's former Valentine 11. Those not in favor 12. Banana skin 15. Water faucet 20. Tease or harass 22. Dog holder 24. Ski racer's sport, pl. 25. *Scarlett's Valentine 26. Mothball substitute 27. Space between two intersecting lines 29. Old paint hazard 31. Short for debutantes 32. Broadcast in progress 33. Foolishness 34. *Diego's artistic St. Thomas's next blood drive will be held on February 17, 2010 from 9 am to 1:30 pm. The blood drive will be held at the St. Thomas Public School. Generally, most healthy people whose age is at least 16 (a minor consent form must be signed by a parent of a sixteen year old) and weigh at least 110 pounds may donate. There are quite a few people who do not realize that they are qualified to donate. People who are taking vitamins, hormones, birth control pills, diet pills, or antibiotics (for acne) MAY donate. Every donor must bring ID to the blood drive. Your ID must include your legal name plus one of these: date of birth, United Blood Services assigned number, or a photo. Donors who are otherwise eligible to donate ARE UNABLE to donate at this drive under the following circumstances: Donors CANNOT be accepted unless they know the name of their medications and the condition for which it is taken. Blood transfusion in the past 12 months. Must wait a day after last dosage of antibiotics taken for an infection. Cold and flu: must be "symptom-free" on the Tundra by Chad Carpenter day of donation. Tattoos (unlessreceived in South Dakota or North Dakota) defer a donor for 12 months. "These qualifications may have some effect on persons who plan on donating blood at the next blood drive in St. Thomas" stated blood drive coordinator. Kay Barker. "We encourage other citizens to take the place of donors unable to give at this time." People who have additional questions on donor qualifications or who wish to schedule an appointment may call Kay Barker at 701-257-6424. The Official Comic Strip of the Animal's Republic of Robbin 'Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia !' Answers on Page 10 Valentine 36. Appear 38. -deaf 42. *This Watts is Liev Schreiber's better half 45. Late comedian who got no respect 49. Site of 2016 Summer Olympics 51. Manipulate 54. Boston's bear 56. Flirtatious stares 57. Beige~ 58. Pipe problem 59. "At __, soldier" 60. Pharaohs' cobras 61. Celt 62. Immeasurable periods 63. Pro __, in proportion 66. Lanka 68. *Either Mr. or Mrs. Potato Head, e.g. Weekly Sudoku 6 P~ESE~rE~ 8~ VolunteerMatch.org Where volurlteer~ng begins, 7 4 2 4 8 625 9 41 8 2 56 9 741 2 9 5 7 7 1 9 F~ll Jn th~ bla~k squnres in the ~rid, making sure Ot~t every row, ~olumn ~nd 3-~y~ box I~ludes all dlgit~ t ~rough 9, -Author Unknowns Bob the Blob $ez "Keep Looking Up! Only 39 More Shopping Days Until The First Day of Spring!" P$: Don't forget your life jacket. Vote Phil in 2010 President Animal's Republic of Robbin "Elect a Rat and Know Where You're At!" Subscribe "ib the. Valley News and Views Only $.10 in County - S.~.~ Out cW C~unty I~ill irn I~'on~, lCelnm uml %1u~1 ~lie: l';h'.:yl~m, %D 5~225 Sab.~:fik: caEn by goiag to w,~;~v.v~d'eyav.."c~m N.~ R1C.,. Cky ................................. S~1~: Zip: