Page 6
July 15th, 2010
Valley News
& Views
Fun - Negative People - Courtesy of Cousin Pat
A woman was at her
hairdresser's getting her hair
styled for a trip to Rome with
her husband. She mentioned
the trip to the hairdresser,
who responded: "Rome?
Why would anyone want to go
there? It's crowded and dirty.
You're crazy to go to Rome. So,
how are you getting there?"
"We're taking Continental,"
was the reply. "We got a great
rate!"
"Continental?" exclaimed
the hairdresser. " That's a
terrible airline. Their planes
are old, their flight attendants
are ugly, and they're always
late. So, where are you staying
in Rome?"
"We'll be at this exclusive
little place over on Rome's
Tiber River called Teste."
"Don't go any further. I
know that place. Everybody
thinks its gonna be something
special and exclusive, but it's
really a dump."
"We're going to go to see the
Vatican and maybe get to see
the Pope."
"That's rich," laughed the
hairdresser. You and a million
other people trying to see him.
He'll look the size of an ant.
Boy, good luck on this lousy
trip of yours. You're going to
need it."
A month later, the woman
again came in for a hairdo.
The hairdresser asked her
about her trip to Rome. "It
was wonderful," explained the
woman, "not only were we on
time in one of Continental's
brand new planes, but it was
overbooked, andtheybumped
us up to first class. The food
and wine were wonderful, and
I had a handsome 28-year-old
steward who waited on me
hand and foot. And the hotel
was great! They'd just finished
a $5 million remodeling
job, and now it's a jewel, the
finest hotel in the city. They
too, were overbooked, so
they apologized and gave us
their owner's suite at no extra
charge!"
"Well," muttered the
hairdresser, "that's all well and
good, but I know you didn't
get to see the Pope."
'Actually, we were quite
lucky, because as we toured
the Vatican, a Swiss Guard
tapped me on the shoulder
and explained that the Pope
likes to meet some of the
visitors and if I'd be so kind as
to step into his private room
and wait, the Pope would
personally greet me. Sure
enough, five minutes later,
the Pope walked through the
door and shook my hand! I
knelt down and he spoke a
few words to me."
"Oh, reall What'd he say?"
He said: "Who screwed up
your hair?"
Road Trip Continued From Page 1
I ran into the rather dapper Jeff Sveen at the air station as he
and his son prepared to steal an Army Blackhawk heficopter.
They might have made it if they could have figured out how
to start it.
Air Station, home of
the lOth Space Warning
Squadron (SWS). Big deal
right? Well, let's see ....
I did spot a herd of
buffalo on the way there and
attempted to make friends
with ayoung bull .... and I also
ran into the rather dapper
Jeff Sveen at the air station.
He and his son were sitting
in a Blackhawk helicopter,
plotting to steal it I think.
But what about the teeny
weeny little ho-hum Cavalier
Air Station and the lOth
SWS?
The squadrons mission is
to provide early warning and
space situational awareness
through 24-hour per day
missile warning and space
surveillance coverage,
meaning its occupied 24/7
by people monitoring space
debris and keeping an eye
out for the bad guys. Okay,
so what?
The squadron operates
and maintains the world's
most capable phased-array
radar system. The PARCS
radar system located there
(pictured below left) is the
largest phased-array radar
system in the world, and
can spot an object the size
of a basketball at 2,000
males. Located in a 121 foot
concrete structure, the radar
and crews monitor and track
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That sounds pretty
important, but just think
about it...
All of us visitors passed
freely and easily on site.
Instead of holding us at gun
point they fed us great snacks
and provided entertainment
including inflatable games
for the kids. Had a KC-135
fly over and for those who
wanted to, a tour of the
PARCs operation center,
one of the most impressive
pieces of technology in the
world. That's pretty cool and
all that within a mile or so of
a herd of buffalo.
Then it was on to Hallock.
I wanted to catch a corn dog
at the fair. But before that I
wanted to stop at the 5-81
in Hamilton for a coke. I was
too early and they weren't
open yet. However if you've
not been there.., and I hope
this is still the case, it is the
home of some of the best
burgers in the world.
Hallock was kind of slow.
The midway at the fair was all
inflatables. The kids seemed
to enjoy them, but not your
traditional midway. I admit, I
was a little disappointed.
Too early for the
grandstand shows, I did
manage to find a corn dog
and visit some of the animals
in the livestock areas. Made
friends with a couple pigs,
met a huge Brahma steer
with the disposition of a
Teddy Bear and a really neat,
in your face, chicken and her
brood. She immediatelytook
an interest in my camera
and began pecking at the
lens, while her chicks darted
back and forth toward the
camera.
I wasn't privy to a full
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Saturday off and wanted to
get home to do some lawn
work, so it was back on the
road again. Made it home
and had a good portion of
the afternoon on the mower.
All that in a few short hours
and back in time to mow the
lawn and do a little cleanup
work out back. It wasn't long
before the goat was tearing
at my pockets for snacks
and the mustang was nearly
pushing me over with her
snout, looking for attention.
Ah, back to normal.
/
Ran into a couple of my pals at the Hallock Fair. I think they'd
been out partying all night. You know, some how the name pig,
seems so appropriate.
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