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Valley News and Views
Drayton , North Dakota
July 18, 2013     Valley News and Views
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July 18, 2013

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Page 4 July 18th, 2013 Valley News and Views Dear Lady Di, I've been terribly depressed and I'm reaching out to you for advice. It's long overdue and I'm in a quandary as what to do. I've been married 15 years and at 42 I've made numerous mistakes in my life. I'm taking the time to write since my husband's on a motorcycle trip with his friends this week. Our marriage is fine and I don't have many complaints. We've never been able to have children so our dogs are our greatest pride and joy. Recently, I started seeing a therapist weekly. I'm overcome with anger, sadness, guilt and shame about my sordid past. My husband has no idea what I've been though. I always feared he wouldn't marry me if he knew what a mess I was in my earlier years. My therapist is starting to be a big help My fear is if my husband learns the truth he may leave me or be mad at me for withholding my life story for so long. Growing up I was sexually abused by a relative. I entered college after high school staying only one year, regretfully. I worked instead of finishing school, bought a new car and was arrested 3 times for DUI's. I used drugs and dated thugs. I lost my privilege to drive for 1.5 years. I had to make car payments and move back in with my parents. I had an abortion as a teen and was devastated to find out I couldn't have kids when my husband and I Wanted to start a family. You have no idea how much I'm struggling with the decision to speak to my husband and tell him all this. It's been eating at me and my therapist said it's my decision. She hasn't advised me either way. He'll be home this weekend and I desperately want to unload this heavy burden GREAT BEGINNINGS, 1368 Announcer: "Good health to all from Rexall. From Hollywood, The Jimmy Durante Show." Jimmy (singing): "Ink a dink a dink, a dink a do, a dink a dee, oh what a beautiful day..." Announcer: "Yes, it's The Jimmy Durante Show with Arthur Treacher, Candy Candido, Roy Bargy and his orchestra, yours truly, Howard Petrie, and our special guest for tonight, Bing Crosby. And now, here's Jimmy." (a typical opening for "The Jimmy Durante Show," a variety program on radio; NBC, 1947-1950) NATIONAL DEBT As of July 14 the national debt was $16,744,938,718,591,83 (over sixteen trillion dollars). On July 7 itwas$16, 7 4 7 ,993, 706,123.63 (over sixteen trillion dollars), so there was a decrease of two billion 955 million dollars. Each American now owes $52,948.73, down $17.09 from the $52,965.82 of July 7. Theincrease inthe national debt since our members of Congress were first in office: Former Senator Kent Conrad: 1987- -$2,350,276,890,953.00; Jan. 2, 2013-- $16,441,433,358,986.17, an increase of over 14 trillion, 91 billion dollars. Former Representative Rick Berg: Jan. 2011--$13,997,932,781,828.89; Jan. 2, 2013-- $16,441,433,358,986.17, an increase of over two trillion 416 billion dollars. Senator John Hoeven: Jan. 2011- -$13,997,932,781,828.89; today-- $16,744,938,718,591,83, an increase of over two trillion 747 billion dollars. Senator Heidi Heitkamp and Representative Kevin Cramer: Jan. 3, 2013--$16,437,549,999,170.77; today-- $16,744,938,718,591,83, an increase of $307 billion. TRIVIA QUIZ TIME 796 1. The American frontiersman who died at the Alamo was named. (a. Daniel Boone; b. Davey Crockett; c. Mike Fink) 2. Alaska was nicknamed" Icebox." (a. Kellogg's; b. Seward's; c. Stimson's) 3. Rasselas was from the country of (a. Abyssinia; b. Arabia; c. Tripoli) 4. Radames and Amneris appear in the opera called" ." (a. Alda; b. La Boheme; c. Carmen) 5. UNICEF is responsible for. (a. Children; b. Elephants; c. Farmers) (answers at the end of the Column) A MESS OF POTTAGE 1425 This portion of my column describes the works of Libertarian philosopher and economist Murray Rothbard (1926-1995). In 1995 he published "Economic Thought Before Adam Smith." Chapter 10 is entitled "Mercantilism and freedom in England from the Tudors to the Civil War." Rothbard took on the so-called genius, Sir Francis Bacon (1561-1626), who was considered by his contemporaries as the greatest man of his age. A naYve empiricist, Bacon saw no place for human reason as a supplier of knowledge in ethics through the use of natural law, In addition to Thomas Hobbes, another Baconlan in political economy was Sir William Petty (1623-1687). Petty and his followers could flourish under any form of government, be it a mofiarchy, a republic, or a theocracy because they were supposedly "value-free" followers of the Bacon scientific school of thought. As long as the government had some power, the Baconians could and would serve it. POETIC FRAGMENTS Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792-1822) was a major Romantic poet. Here is a portion of his poem "To A Skylark": "Like a rose embowered In its own green leaves, By warm winds deflowered, Till the scent it gives Makes faint with too much sweet these heavy-winged thieves." DHS, 1927 28 On March 3 the DHS boys lost to Grafton 36-13 in the Sub-District Basketball Tournament in Grafton. Playing for Drayton were William Wagner, seven pts.; Clarence Mathison, four pts.; Raymond Dryden, two pts.; George Buchanan, Harry Moore, and Graham VanCamp. BILLBOARD'S TOP TEN 1973 July 14 1. Will It Go Round In Circles (Billy Preston) 2. Kodachrome (Paul Simon) 3. Bad, Bad Leroy Brown (Jim Croce) 4. Shambala (Three Dog Night) 5. Give Me Love (George Harrison) 6. Yesterday Once More (Carpenters) 7. Playground In My Mind (Clint Holmes) 8. Smoke On The Water (Deep Purple)* 9. My Love (Paul McCartney/Wings) 10. Right Place, Wrong Time (Dr. John) (* indicates a new song) The hard-rock group Deep Purple came from England. From 1968 to 1985 they had eleven hit songs, eight of which made the Hot 100. "Smoke On The Water" was their eighth release. It peaked at #4, was on the charts for sixteen weeks, and became the group's all- time biggest hit. NUMBER 1 SONGS JULY 18 1893--My Country 'Tis Of Thee (Jules Levy) 1898--She Was Bred In Old Kentucky (George J. Gaskin) 1903--Hiawatha (Harry MacDonough) 1908--The Glow-Worm (Lucy Isabelle Marsh) 1913--The Trail Of The Lonesome Pine (Henry Burr/Albert Campbell) 1918--I'm Sorry I Made You Cry (Henry Burr) 1923--Down Hearted Blues (Bessie Smith) 1928--Ramona (Gene Austin) 1933--ShadowWaltz (Bing Crosby) 1938--Music, Maestro, Please (Tommy Dorsey); A-Tisket, A-Tasket (Ella Fitzgerald) 1943--Comin' In On AWing And A Prayer (Song Spinners) 1948--WoodyWoodpecker (Kay Kyser) 1953--Song From 'Moulin Rouge'(Percy Faith); I'm Walking Behind You (Eddie Fisher) 1958--The Purple People Eater (Sheb Wooley) 1963--Easier Said Than Done (Essex) 1968--This Guy's In Love With You (Herb Alpert) 1973--Will It Go Round In Circles (Billy Preston) 1978--Shadow Dancing (Andy Gibb) 1983--Every Breath You Take (Police) 1988--The Flame (Cheap Trick) 1993--Weak (SWV) 1998--Torn (Natalie Imbruglia); The Boy Is Mine (Brandy/Monica) 2003--Crazy In Love (Beyonce/Sean Paul) 2008--I Kissed A Girl (Katy Perry) 15 YEARS AGO July 18, 1998--About 8 p.m. there was a fire at Ardis's Bookkeeping. NOTABLE QUOTES Edward D. Wood, Jr.: "Worst film you ever saw?Well, my next one will be better." (from the 1994 movie "Ed Wood," with Johnny Depp as Edward D. Wood, Jr.) Trivia Quiz Answers (1.b; 2. b; 3. a; 4. a; 5. a) but terribly afraid. How do I even approach him if I decide to talk to him? Weathered Wife Dear "Good Wife", I admire your courage during this very difficult time. You've been extremely candid and honest and for that I have tremendous admiration. We've all lived through difficult experiences, some different than their friends or neighbors. I applaud you seeking help now and on a consistent basis. Listening, your therapist is guiding you to the important decisions only you can make. After 15 years you and your husband have been resilient during difficult times; struggling bearing children one of them. You've been hard on yourself, while the feeling of shame after abuse is common. This abuse drove your behavior throughout adolescence and early adulthood. You're husband loves you unconditionally. Take your time and when you're ready, feel the solace in his comfort. You've felt turmoil for years, healing will take time. Lady Di Write Lady Di confidentially at Letters can be mailed to; Dear Lady Di, 8351 West Bush Lake Road, Bloomington, MN 55438 "People are like stained- glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within." - Elisabeth Kubler-Ross There is so much heart in the midst of small communities. I am inspired each and every time I see someone going through a difficult time, not only from their personal strength and fortitude but from the depths of compassion and empathy witnessed in the corridors of community. On Sunday we attended a benefit for Lois Young who was diagnosed with breast cancer. Lois underwent a double mastectomy, two rounds of chemo and started radiation on July 8th which she will continue for the next six weeks. She is a survivor and according to her daughter Stephanie, continues to fight th e hard battle with grace and strength. "She is doing great," Stephanie said. "I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who volunteered, came to the benefit and donated. The love and support for my mom is very overwhelming." So many people worked together to organize, serve, donate, and give kindly to Lois' fundraiser. Her family would like to thank all those who had a part in it. "I would like to thank everyone for their generosity, all those who donated items and everyone who worked on bringing it all together," Lois said. Lois has always had a great love for frogs. Several volunteers and family members were wearing bright t-shirts donning a picture of a frog on the front with the words, "Leaping for Lois," written across them. The back of the shirts simply read, "Team Lois," and included a picture of a breast cancer ribbon. I couldn't help think about whenever I find a frog, whether it is a little statue or stuffed animal, I get it for my nephew Trapper. I have taught him something I was told several years ago about the meaning of FROG, "Forever Rely on God." It made me smile when I saw those bright t-shirts with the image of a frog on the front knowing how much Lois loves them and thinking about those words I taught my young nephew. It certainly isn't easy for anyone to hear the dreadful words, "You have cancer." I know from our family's experience, the things that get you through are most definitely the love of family, friends and community, a strong faith, prayer, and a positive attitude. Life can sometimes derail us, it can challenge our faith and leave us doubting and wondering as the uncertainty of it all holds us hostage. In those moments, it is often difficult to see the grace and yet it is always there. As I watched people walk through the door Sunday, one right after another, I couldn't help but feel the blessing of living in a small town - where people pull together to help each other out. There was so much love flowing through that room, it was palpable. We sat next to my auntie Erma who several years ago was also diagnosed with breast cancer when she was about Lois' age. It was so important for her to attend the benefit as she knows first hand what it feels like to go through it. I thought about how lucky we are to still have her in our lives. I thought about Lois' family and how they must feel the same intense gratitude for her. I don't think a person truly realizes until they go through something like this just how many people they have touched in a lifetime. It certainly was apparent by the number of people at this benefit what an impact Lois and her family have made in this world. I hope they can feel the power of prayer from all those who keep them in their thoughts on a daily basis. For those who couldn't make the benefit, there is a Lois Young fund set up at KodaBank in Drayton. Any donations would be greatly appreciated. Besides the actual treatments, there are so many added costs one doesn't think of. Thank you to everyone who has donated thus far and for the support and prayers, please carry on as Lois continues to fight her battle with cancer. As I was writing, I was reminded of an email I received recently from a dear friend. It is an incredible story and I would like to share it with you. "On Nov. 18, 1995, Itzhak Perlman, the violinist, came on stage to give a concert at Avery Fisher Hall at Lincoln Center in New York City. If you have ever been to a Pefiman concert, you know that getting on stage is no small achievement for him. He was stricken with polio as a child, and so he has braces on both legs and walks with the aid of two crutches. To see him walk across the stage one step at a time, painfully and slowly, is an awesome sight. He walks painfully, yet majestically, until he reaches his chair. Then he sits down, slowly puts his crutches on the floor, undoes the clasps on his legs, tucks one foot back and extends the other foot forward. Then he bends down and picks up the violin, puts it under his chin, nods to the conductor and proceeds to play. By now, the audience is used to this ritual. They sit quietly while he makes his way across the stage to his chair. They remain reverently silent while he undoes the clasps on his legs. They wait until he is ready to play. But this time, something went wrong. Just as he finished the first few bars, one of the strings on his violin broke. You could hear it snap - it went off like gunfire across the room. There was no mistaking what that sound meant. There was no mistaking what he had to do. We figured he would have to get up, put on the clasps again, pick up the crutches and limp his way off stage to either find another violin or find another string for this one. But he didn't. Instead, he waited a moment, closed his eyes and then signaled the conductor to begin again. The orchestra began, and he played from where he left off. And he played with such passion and such power and such purity as they had never heard before. Of course, anyone knows that it is impossible to play a symphonic work with just three strings. I know that, and you know that, but that night Itzhak Peflman refused to know that. You could see him modulating, changing, re- composing the piece in his head. At one point, it sounded like he was de- tuning the strings to get new sounds from them they had never made before. When he finished, there was an awesome silence in the room. And then people rose and cheered. There was an extraordinary outburst of applause from every comer of the auditorium. We were all on our feet, screaming and cheering, doing everything we could to show how much we appreciated what he had done. He smiled, wiped the sweat from his brow, raised his bow to quiet us, and then he said not boastfully, but in a quiet, pensive, reverent tone - 'You know, sometimes it is the artist's task to find out how much music you can still make with what you have left.' What a powerful line that is. It has stayed in my mind ever since I heard it. And who knows? Perhaps that is the definition of life - not just for artists but for all of us. Here is a man who has prepared all his life to make music on a violin of four strings, who, all of a sudden, in the mid. dle of a concert, finds himself with only three strings; so he makes music with three strings, and the music he made that night with just three strings was more beautiful, more sacred, more memorable, than any he had ever made before, when he had four strings. So, perhaps our task in this shaky, fast-changing, bewildering world in which we live is to make music, at first with all that we have, and then, when that is no longer possible, to make music with what we have left." Sometimes along the way we are confronted with battles we had no idea we would have to fight. We are given moments of heartbreak countered by flashes of clarity. We are shown strength we never knew we had while becoming awakened to the impact we can have on this world. Through the battles, the brokenness, the tears, there is the opportunity to surrender the greatest harmony this world could know and make the most beautiful music. On our kitchen wall is a sign I bought for my husband. It reads, "Life is like a piano, what you get out of it is how you play it." May the clanging noise of our struggles become the symphony that inspires others. May we continue to show our love and support to neighbors and friends who are going through the greatest battles of their lives, and may we always remember one small gesture of kindness can create a never ending work of art. After all, what we get out of this life is truly how we play it. Blessings always to you Lois and your family : :: : : : Valley News and eWs PO :Box 309: Drayton'N.D:: 58225 70 360300501:454,6333 Emaih vatleynv@larcommicom : /