Page 4
July 18th, 2013
Valley News
and Views
Dear Lady Di,
I've been terribly depressed and I'm
reaching out to you for advice. It's long
overdue and I'm in a quandary as what to
do. I've been married 15 years and at 42 I've
made numerous mistakes in my life. I'm
taking the time to write since my husband's
on a motorcycle trip with his friends this
week. Our marriage is fine and I don't have
many complaints. We've never been able to
have children so our dogs are our greatest
pride and joy.
Recently, I started seeing a therapist
weekly. I'm overcome with anger, sadness,
guilt and shame about my sordid past. My
husband has no idea what I've been though.
I always feared he wouldn't marry me if he
knew what a mess I was in my earlier years.
My therapist is starting to be a big help My
fear is if my husband learns the truth he may
leave me or be mad at me for withholding
my life story for so long.
Growing up I was sexually abused by a
relative. I entered college after high school
staying only one year, regretfully. I worked
instead of finishing school, bought a new car
and was arrested 3 times for DUI's. I used
drugs and dated thugs. I lost my privilege to
drive for 1.5 years. I had to make car payments
and move back in with my parents. I had an
abortion as a teen and was devastated to find
out I couldn't have kids when my husband
and I Wanted to start a family.
You have no idea how much I'm struggling
with the decision to speak to my husband
and tell him all this. It's been eating at me
and my therapist said it's my decision. She
hasn't advised me either way.
He'll be home this weekend and I
desperately want to unload this heavy burden
GREAT BEGINNINGS,
1368
Announcer: "Good health to all from
Rexall. From Hollywood, The Jimmy Durante
Show."
Jimmy (singing): "Ink a dink a dink, a dink a
do, a dink a dee, oh what a beautiful day..."
Announcer: "Yes, it's The Jimmy Durante
Show with Arthur Treacher, Candy Candido,
Roy Bargy and his orchestra, yours truly,
Howard Petrie, and our special guest for
tonight, Bing Crosby. And now, here's
Jimmy."
(a typical opening for "The Jimmy Durante
Show," a variety program on radio; NBC,
1947-1950)
NATIONAL DEBT
As of July 14 the national debt was
$16,744,938,718,591,83 (over sixteen trillion
dollars). On July 7 itwas$16, 7 4 7 ,993, 706,123.63
(over sixteen trillion dollars), so there was a
decrease of two billion 955 million dollars.
Each American now owes $52,948.73,
down $17.09 from the $52,965.82 of July 7.
Theincrease inthe national debt since our
members of Congress were first in office:
Former Senator Kent Conrad: 1987-
-$2,350,276,890,953.00; Jan. 2, 2013--
$16,441,433,358,986.17, an increase of over
14 trillion, 91 billion dollars.
Former Representative Rick Berg: Jan.
2011--$13,997,932,781,828.89; Jan. 2, 2013--
$16,441,433,358,986.17, an increase of over
two trillion 416 billion dollars.
Senator John Hoeven: Jan. 2011-
-$13,997,932,781,828.89; today--
$16,744,938,718,591,83, an increase of over
two trillion 747 billion dollars.
Senator Heidi Heitkamp and
Representative Kevin Cramer: Jan. 3,
2013--$16,437,549,999,170.77; today--
$16,744,938,718,591,83, an increase of $307
billion.
TRIVIA QUIZ TIME
796
1. The American frontiersman who died
at the Alamo was named.
(a. Daniel Boone; b. Davey Crockett; c.
Mike Fink)
2. Alaska was nicknamed" Icebox."
(a. Kellogg's; b. Seward's; c. Stimson's)
3. Rasselas was from the country of
(a. Abyssinia; b. Arabia; c. Tripoli)
4. Radames and Amneris appear in the
opera called" ."
(a. Alda; b. La Boheme; c. Carmen)
5. UNICEF is responsible for.
(a. Children; b. Elephants; c. Farmers)
(answers at the end of the Column)
A MESS OF POTTAGE
1425
This portion of my column describes
the works of Libertarian philosopher and
economist Murray Rothbard (1926-1995).
In 1995 he published "Economic Thought
Before Adam Smith."
Chapter 10 is entitled "Mercantilism and
freedom in England from the Tudors to the
Civil War." Rothbard took on the so-called
genius, Sir Francis Bacon (1561-1626), who
was considered by his contemporaries as the
greatest man of his age. A naYve empiricist,
Bacon saw no place for human reason as a
supplier of knowledge in ethics through the
use of natural law, In addition to Thomas
Hobbes, another Baconlan in political
economy was Sir William Petty (1623-1687).
Petty and his followers could flourish under
any form of government, be it a mofiarchy,
a republic, or a theocracy because they were
supposedly "value-free" followers of the
Bacon scientific school of thought. As long
as the government had some power, the
Baconians could and would serve it.
POETIC FRAGMENTS
Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792-1822) was a
major Romantic poet. Here is a portion of his
poem "To A Skylark":
"Like a rose embowered
In its own green leaves,
By warm winds deflowered,
Till the scent it gives
Makes faint with too much sweet
these heavy-winged thieves."
DHS, 1927
28
On March 3 the DHS boys lost to Grafton
36-13 in the Sub-District Basketball
Tournament in Grafton. Playing for Drayton
were William Wagner, seven pts.; Clarence
Mathison, four pts.; Raymond Dryden, two
pts.; George Buchanan, Harry Moore, and
Graham VanCamp.
BILLBOARD'S TOP TEN
1973
July 14
1. Will It Go Round In Circles (Billy
Preston)
2. Kodachrome (Paul Simon)
3. Bad, Bad Leroy Brown (Jim Croce)
4. Shambala (Three Dog Night)
5. Give Me Love (George Harrison)
6. Yesterday Once More (Carpenters)
7. Playground In My Mind (Clint
Holmes)
8. Smoke On The Water (Deep Purple)*
9. My Love (Paul McCartney/Wings)
10. Right Place, Wrong Time (Dr. John)
(* indicates a new song)
The hard-rock group Deep Purple came
from England. From 1968 to 1985 they had
eleven hit songs, eight of which made the Hot
100. "Smoke On The Water" was their eighth
release. It peaked at #4, was on the charts for
sixteen weeks, and became the group's all-
time biggest hit.
NUMBER 1 SONGS
JULY 18
1893--My Country 'Tis Of Thee (Jules
Levy)
1898--She Was Bred In Old Kentucky
(George J. Gaskin)
1903--Hiawatha (Harry MacDonough)
1908--The Glow-Worm (Lucy Isabelle
Marsh)
1913--The Trail Of The Lonesome Pine
(Henry Burr/Albert Campbell)
1918--I'm Sorry I Made You Cry (Henry
Burr)
1923--Down Hearted Blues (Bessie
Smith)
1928--Ramona (Gene Austin)
1933--ShadowWaltz (Bing Crosby)
1938--Music, Maestro, Please (Tommy
Dorsey); A-Tisket, A-Tasket (Ella
Fitzgerald)
1943--Comin' In On AWing And A Prayer
(Song Spinners)
1948--WoodyWoodpecker (Kay Kyser)
1953--Song From 'Moulin Rouge'(Percy
Faith); I'm Walking Behind You (Eddie
Fisher)
1958--The Purple People Eater (Sheb
Wooley)
1963--Easier Said Than Done (Essex)
1968--This Guy's In Love With You (Herb
Alpert)
1973--Will It Go Round In Circles (Billy
Preston)
1978--Shadow Dancing (Andy Gibb)
1983--Every Breath You Take (Police)
1988--The Flame (Cheap Trick)
1993--Weak (SWV)
1998--Torn (Natalie Imbruglia); The Boy
Is Mine (Brandy/Monica)
2003--Crazy In Love (Beyonce/Sean
Paul)
2008--I Kissed A Girl (Katy Perry)
15 YEARS AGO
July 18, 1998--About 8 p.m. there was a fire
at Ardis's Bookkeeping.
NOTABLE QUOTES
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: "Worst film you ever
saw?Well, my next one will be better."
(from the 1994 movie "Ed Wood," with
Johnny Depp as Edward D. Wood, Jr.)
Trivia Quiz Answers
(1.b; 2. b; 3. a; 4. a; 5. a)
but terribly afraid. How do I even approach
him if I decide to talk to him?
Weathered Wife
Dear "Good Wife",
I admire your courage during this very
difficult time. You've been extremely candid
and honest and for that I have tremendous
admiration. We've all lived through difficult
experiences, some different than their
friends or neighbors. I applaud you seeking
help now and on a consistent basis.
Listening, your therapist is guiding you
to the important decisions only you can
make. After 15 years you and your husband
have been resilient during difficult times;
struggling bearing children one of them.
You've been hard on yourself, while the
feeling of shame after abuse is common.
This abuse drove your behavior throughout
adolescence and early adulthood. You're
husband loves you unconditionally. Take
your time and when you're ready, feel the
solace in his comfort. You've felt turmoil for
years, healing will take time.
Lady Di
Write Lady Di confidentially at
DearLadyDi@gmail.com Letters can be
mailed to; Dear Lady Di, 8351 West Bush
Lake Road, Bloomington, MN 55438
"People are like stained-
glass windows. They sparkle
and shine when the sun is
out, but when the darkness
sets in, their true beauty is
revealed only if there is a light
from within."
- Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
There is so much heart
in the midst of small
communities. I am inspired
each and every time I see
someone going through a
difficult time, not only from
their personal strength and
fortitude but from the depths
of compassion and empathy
witnessed in the corridors of
community.
On Sunday we attended a
benefit for Lois Young who
was diagnosed with breast
cancer. Lois underwent a
double mastectomy, two
rounds of chemo and started
radiation on July 8th which
she will continue for the next
six weeks.
She is a survivor and
according to her daughter
Stephanie, continues to fight
th e hard battle with grace and
strength. "She is doing great,"
Stephanie said. "I want to say
a huge thank you to everyone
who volunteered, came to
the benefit and donated. The
love and support for my mom
is very overwhelming."
So many people worked
together to organize, serve,
donate, and give kindly to
Lois' fundraiser. Her family
would like to thank all those
who had a part in it. "I would
like to thank everyone for
their generosity, all those who
donated items and everyone
who worked on bringing it all
together," Lois said.
Lois has always had a
great love for frogs. Several
volunteers and family
members were wearing
bright t-shirts donning a
picture of a frog on the front
with the words, "Leaping for
Lois," written across them.
The back of the shirts simply
read, "Team Lois," and
included a picture of a breast
cancer ribbon.
I couldn't help think
about whenever I find a frog,
whether it is a little statue
or stuffed animal, I get it
for my nephew Trapper. I
have taught him something
I was told several years ago
about the meaning of FROG,
"Forever Rely on God."
It made me smile when
I saw those bright t-shirts
with the image of a frog on
the front knowing how much
Lois loves them and thinking
about those words I taught
my young nephew.
It certainly isn't easy for
anyone to hear the dreadful
words, "You have cancer."
I know from our family's
experience, the things that
get you through are most
definitely the love of family,
friends and community, a
strong faith, prayer, and a
positive attitude.
Life can sometimes derail
us, it can challenge our faith
and leave us doubting and
wondering as the uncertainty
of it all holds us hostage. In
those moments, it is often
difficult to see the grace and
yet it is always there.
As I watched people walk
through the door Sunday, one
right after another, I couldn't
help but feel the blessing of
living in a small town - where
people pull together to help
each other out. There was so
much love flowing through
that room, it was palpable.
We sat next to my auntie
Erma who several years ago
was also diagnosed with
breast cancer when she was
about Lois' age. It was so
important for her to attend
the benefit as she knows first
hand what it feels like to go
through it.
I thought about how lucky
we are to still have her in
our lives. I thought about
Lois' family and how they
must feel the same intense
gratitude for her.
I don't think a person truly
realizes until they go through
something like this just how
many people they have
touched in a lifetime.
It certainly was apparent
by the number of people at
this benefit what an impact
Lois and her family have
made in this world. I hope
they can feel the power of
prayer from all those who
keep them in their thoughts
on a daily basis.
For those who couldn't
make the benefit, there is
a Lois Young fund set up at
KodaBank in Drayton. Any
donations would be greatly
appreciated.
Besides the actual
treatments, there are so many
added costs one doesn't think
of.
Thank you to everyone
who has donated thus far
and for the support and
prayers, please carry on as
Lois continues to fight her
battle with cancer.
As I was writing, I was
reminded of an email I
received recently from a dear
friend. It is an incredible story
and I would like to share it
with you.
"On Nov. 18, 1995, Itzhak
Perlman, the violinist, came
on stage to give a concert at
Avery Fisher Hall at Lincoln
Center in New York City.
If you have ever been to a
Pefiman concert, you know
that getting on stage is no
small achievement for him.
He was stricken with
polio as a child, and so he
has braces on both legs and
walks with the aid of two
crutches. To see him walk
across the stage one step at a
time, painfully and slowly, is
an awesome sight.
He walks painfully, yet
majestically, until he reaches
his chair. Then he sits down,
slowly puts his crutches on
the floor, undoes the clasps
on his legs, tucks one foot
back and extends the other
foot forward. Then he bends
down and picks up the violin,
puts it under his chin, nods to
the conductor and proceeds
to play.
By now, the audience is
used to this ritual. They sit
quietly while he makes his
way across the stage to his
chair. They remain reverently
silent while he undoes the
clasps on his legs. They wait
until he is ready to play.
But this time, something
went wrong. Just as he
finished the first few bars,
one of the strings on his
violin broke. You could hear it
snap - it went off like gunfire
across the room.
There was no mistaking
what that sound meant.
There was no mistaking what
he had to do. We figured he
would have to get up, put on
the clasps again, pick up the
crutches and limp his way off
stage to either find another
violin or find another string
for this one.
But he didn't. Instead, he
waited a moment, closed his
eyes and then signaled the
conductor to begin again.
The orchestra began, and
he played from where he left
off. And he played with such
passion and such power and
such purity as they had never
heard before.
Of course, anyone knows
that it is impossible to play
a symphonic work with just
three strings. I know that,
and you know that, but that
night Itzhak Peflman refused
to know that.
You could see him
modulating, changing, re-
composing the piece in
his head. At one point, it
sounded like he was de-
tuning the strings to get new
sounds from them they had
never made before.
When he finished, there
was an awesome silence in
the room. And then people
rose and cheered. There was
an extraordinary outburst of
applause from every comer
of the auditorium. We were
all on our feet, screaming and
cheering, doing everything
we could to show how much
we appreciated what he had
done.
He smiled, wiped the
sweat from his brow, raised
his bow to quiet us, and then
he said not boastfully, but
in a quiet, pensive, reverent
tone - 'You know, sometimes
it is the artist's task to find
out how much music you
can still make with what you
have left.'
What a powerful line that
is. It has stayed in my mind
ever since I heard it. And who
knows? Perhaps that is the
definition of life - not just for
artists but for all of us.
Here is a man who has
prepared all his life to make
music on a violin of four
strings, who, all of a sudden,
in the mid. dle of a concert,
finds himself with only three
strings; so he makes music
with three strings, and the
music he made that night
with just three strings was
more beautiful, more sacred,
more memorable, than any
he had ever made before,
when he had four strings.
So, perhaps our task in
this shaky, fast-changing,
bewildering world in which
we live is to make music, at
first with all that we have, and
then, when that is no longer
possible, to make music with
what we have left."
Sometimes along the
way we are confronted with
battles we had no idea we
would have to fight. We are
given moments of heartbreak
countered by flashes of
clarity.
We are shown strength we
never knew we had while
becoming awakened to the
impact we can have on this
world.
Through the battles, the
brokenness, the tears, there is
the opportunity to surrender
the greatest harmony this
world could know and make
the most beautiful music.
On our kitchen wall is a
sign I bought for my husband.
It reads, "Life is like a piano,
what you get out of it is how
you play it."
May the clanging noise
of our struggles become
the symphony that inspires
others. May we continue to
show our love and support to
neighbors and friends who
are going through the greatest
battles of their lives, and may
we always remember one
small gesture of kindness can
create a never ending work
of art. After all, what we get
out of this life is truly how we
play it.
Blessings always to you
Lois and your family
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